Intentionally Evolving: The Power of Realistic Change.

Word of the Month: Change
Content of the Month: The Happiness Project — Gretchen Rubin

Happiness is something most of us say we want, but rarely treat with any real intention. Every January 1st, I tell myself this will be the year I’m happier. I name it as a goal, feel sincere about it, and then return to life as usual. Within weeks, I realize that I’m back to my regularly scheduled programming.

That lingering pull toward happiness is what led me to The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. What distinguishes Rubin’s work is that she treats happiness not as a personality trait or a passing emotion, but as something that can be examined, practiced, and refined. This was very appealing to me. Over the course of a year, she experiments with small, intentional changes in her own life and pays close attention to their effects, somewhat like a case study. Some things worked. Others did not. That realism is what makes the book compelling — and useful.

Several of her ideas stayed with me because they were simple enough to try, yet meaningful enough to change how my days felt. That is why the word of the month is change, rather than happiness. This was intentional. Happiness, I realized, requires conscious effort and honest adjustment. What follows are the practices that resonated most, and how they reshaped my understanding of happiness as something that is no longer a mere fantasy but actually attainable.

Creativity

One of Rubin’s strongest observations is how closely happiness is tied to creativity — not achievement-driven creativity, but genuine expression. She begins a blog. I did too. Not to produce something impressive on a deadline, but to create an outlet for my thoughts.

This point feels especially relevant in the world we live in today, where so much of our time is spent consuming other people’s content. Creating something of our own, in any form, feels grounding in contrast. Writing without a destination reminded me that not everything needs to be optimized or monetized to be worthwhile. I realized how often I reserve creativity for moments when it feels justified in a professional setting (e.g., as a side hustle) instead of treating it as something essential to my well-being.

I am not telling everyone to start a blog. Rather, I encourage you to look inward and identify your own creative outlet — whether that is writing, painting, composing music, or moving your body. Creativity, in this sense, is not about output. It is about reconnecting with yourself in a way that feels unforced and honest.

What surprised me most is how much I needed this. I am in law school, and understandably, my time is limited. Anita, the founder of Roya Women’s Empowerment, often told me that I did not need to submit a blog. And yet, my response surprised even me: I always responded that it was something I actually did need to do — not for a deadline, but because it genuinely makes me feel bliss.

Decluttering

Another practice Rubin returns to is decluttering. While originally reading this chapter, I never thought it could be so meaningful. However, clearing my physical space brought an immediate sense of calm. Less visual noise. Fewer distractions. More room to breathe. Letting go of things I no longer needed mirrored the mental release that followed. It reinforced a simple truth: happiness does not always come from adding more to our lives (even though I love a good shopping spree).

Rubin spends a surprising amount of time on clothing, and I understood why almost immediately. Clothing holds more emotion than we like to admit. It carries versions of ourselves we used to be, versions we think we should become, and versions we are quietly holding onto “just in case.” Every morning, as I flipped through my closet, I did not realize how many old versions of myself were subtly reappearing.

One of Rubin’s clearest rules was that her closet needed to serve the life she was actually living, not a hypothetical one. Clothes that did not fit, required effort, or belonged to a past or future self did not earn their place. Expensive items did not get a free pass. Neither did guilt. What mattered was honesty.

As I began decluttering, I noticed that getting dressed became easier, calmer. Rubin’s idea that “outer order contributes to inner calm” truly landed for me here. Clearing physical clutter removed a layer of low-grade stress I did not realize I was carrying. Therefore, I can easily say that letting go of clutter is not about minimalism or discipline. It is precisely about accepting who you are right now and allowing your environment to support that reality instead of subtly resisting it.

The Importance of Relationships

Rubin returns again and again to the importance of relationships — not in a performative sense, such as simply having a lot of people in your life — but in the quiet work of tending to those specific people who matter most. Being more intentional about checking in, expressing appreciation, and not assuming people know how one feels. After reading this, I began following up with even my closest friends after seeing them, telling them how much they meant to me instead of assuming they already knew. The response was more meaningful than I expected.

At the same time, Rubin speaks candidly about the cost of rigid expectations. I noticed that when I began cutting others more slack, I felt lighter, less irritated, and less burdened by disappointment. This does not mean abandoning boundaries or self-respect. Healthy expectations matter. But softening the ones that do not protect your dignity can preserve your peace. For example, if a friend takes a long time to reply, instead of assuming neglect, practicing empathy allows room for grace. People are imperfect. Love, at its highest form, makes space for that imperfection.

Perhaps most importantly, the same applies inward. Being relentlessly hard on yourself does not produce happiness; it erodes it. Extending grace — both outward and inward — makes daily life feel less combative and more spacious.

Sleep & Energy

Sleep is one of Rubin’s least glamorous but most consistent themes, and for good reason. It is difficult to cultivate happiness when you are perpetually exhausted. I made small but deliberate changes: blackout curtains, eliminating artificial light at night, keeping my room cooler, and reducing blue light before bed. I will admit, this felt boring at first. Going to sleep earlier felt like I was giving something up. But the regulation that followed made the sacrifice worth it.

Another shift Rubin encourages is prioritizing energy over time. I realized how often I planned my days around obligation rather than capacity. Some tasks drain me immediately. Others generate momentum. Paying attention to this changed how I structured my days. I noticed I was more productive in the mornings, so instead of forcing myself to read contract law at 10 p.m., I began setting aside time before class in the morning. The difference was immense.

As women, this awareness of energy is particularly important. Research shows that women often need more sleep than men, especially during certain phases of the menstrual cycle. Many of us ignore this reality and force ourselves into rigid schedules that work against our bodies. I began cycle-syncing my routines — lighter workouts during my luteal and menstrual phases, more rest, more sleep. Honoring my energy instead of overriding it truly transformed how sustainable my days felt.

🌱 Your Challenge for the Month 🌱

This month, I invite you to treat happiness with intention — not as a feeling you wait for, but as something you participate in by making active changes to your life. Ask yourself:

✨ Where might I benefit from softening my expectations — of others, or of myself?
✨ What is one creative or grounding practice I can make space for, without turning it into another task?
✨ What area of my life (e.g., my closet, my car, my living space, etc.) can I declutter today?

With love,
Jasmine 🌸

#jasminescorner